To know him is to love him....

This song of Amy Winehouse "To know him is to love him" really tells what I am feeling for this guy that I really like. Unfortunately, this guy doesn't really appreciate the things I am doing for him or have done for him. Although, he did a looot of good things for me. He is always showing me new things, and bringing me to somewhere I will feel special. Also, I feel that he is really a special guy for some reason. I can't really explain. I don't know if I'm just being blind because of my feelings for him, or he is just really that special person.

I'm really happy just to see him and mostly when he "truly" smile. Not fake, not sarcastic smile, or trying to bully smile. I also feel happy when he's happy, even though it means that he'll be going away from me. I cry, he doesn't know it though. I cry, because my brain knows that I'll just get hurt at the end. but my heart is really blind. Tried so many times to leave him. I blocked him many times. In the end, I still go back to him, but to my surprise, he accepts me every time I go back.

We're okay right now, but I have to give him space alone. He didn't tell me tho, but I really feel that he needs some space. It hurts, because I feel like he doesn't think or care enough that I don't feel good about that. It feels like he doesn't like me or care about me. However, that's what I feel, that's not how he really feels.

But one thing that I realized is it feels much better to just love, than be loved and you can't return it back.